V is for....Vangina!!!

WHOAAAAAAAA...YOU CANT SAY THAT ON HERE....I hear u all scream and yell......

well hold your horses go back and read it again it doesnt say what you thought it did.....and it doesn't mean the same thing nor anything to do with it infact.....so chill out for a sec....

The actually meaning of the word Vangina is: Vangina - A really good van

'omg did you see that vangina?'
'that vangina is scweeeeetttttt'

There are loads of Vanginas out there.....and im sure you all have your own favourite.....or one you yearn for.....and want to be inside....HEY!!! WERE TALKING VANS HERE......;)

My Top 2 have to be The Mystery Machine from Scooby Doo or ofcorse The A-Team van Awesomeness in abundance!!

Put together for ABC Wednesday Check it out....CLICK HERE!!

Interrupting People, The Local Crazy and Wannabee Soldier Man.....

Hey all so after having a think about wether or not i should continue writing on here and speaking to a few different people, ive decided that i will give it another shot although my entries wont be as frequent as the once were, they will still be here.......*crowd cheers*......

so lets kick off this entry with something that really gets my back up and just irritates me to the max......that is people who feel the need to constantly interupt either my own conversations or if someone is explaining something to a group they want to butt in......for example at one of my recent training days for work....i was having a conversation with the tutor...when this loud mouth sitting at the back has to jump in on top and give his own opinion....its not your turn to speak so SHUT THE FUDGE UP!....if onli i could say that without getting sent out but i cant so oh well haha maybe next time........

OK so i find weird people highly amusing right?......right.....well yesterday i was walking past the local doctors surgery and sat on the bench outside was this old lady (heavily tattooed arms, slicked back greasy hair, no shoes you kno the type).....well me being me i had to keep an eye on her just to see what she might do.....so i sat and watched (for about a hour) and every-time someone walked past she would clap her hands and shout at them....was highly amusing to see the look on their faces as this clearly mental woman gave them a round of applause......she defiantly is the kind of women who will walk in the supermarket and shout at the cheese.......

Last thing i want to talk about today......is about this guy....who....well let me describe him.....hes about 50-odd....not much hair....tiny mustache....oh yeh and he walks around in full army uniform!!!!......for any of you who know or can remember he bares a striking resemblance to Sgt. Slaughter who used to be in the WWE Wrestling.....hes clearly not in the army (my guess is he never has been)....but he frog marches all over the town.....whatever the weather you are sure to see him walking around as if he was on a routine drill..........one thing i should mention tho (and this is how i know that hes a sandwich short of a picnic) one hot summers day last year....i was sitting by the river...when Sgt mentalcase cames over.,...crouches down and fills his water bottle up from the very dirty river and drinks it down.....mmmmmmm YUMMY....BLAHHHHHHHH....

So there we go folks hope ya'll enjoyed it even a tincy bit...ill hit you all a new post in the next few days...

oooo yeh before i go i want to do a quick shout out....to a lovely lady who goes by the name The Blog Whore.....she writes a celebrity gossip based blog over at CELEBRITY RANT its a very good and funny read if you like reading a different view on some of the worlds celebrities...... sarcastic but very clever thats how i would put it :)....its kinda like what we all think of celebs but dont say.....so go check it out CELEBRITY RANT CLICK HERE


WHOOO ATE MY SANDWICH??.....OH WAIT......ITS HERE IN MY SHOE....OOO LOOK AT THIS PIC OF THE DAY.....

U is for.....Ugmo

Im pretty sure many if not all of you have seen, during your day to day lives, an Ugmo!!

As im aware you probably all have, but beacause u dont know what it means, your now sitting there thinking......what is it?...is it an animal?.....an object?......for the love of mankind TELLL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.......

well hold your horses lol....because first i must say....if when you find out what it is....you dont think uve ever seen one.....then one word of advice.....it might just be you!!

soooo shadies and mentalmen here it is......a Ugmo is......*drum roll*...........

Ugmo - A really really super duper ugly person


Used as....
'Wowzaaaaa did you see that Ugmo?'
'Shes a right Ugmo'

Created on behalf of ABC Wednesday......GO HERE TO CHECK IT OUT!

*Holiday Special*.....She-Beast, Rogue Seagulls and Roadkill Part 2.....

Sooooo hello all again.....its been a week and as you can guess from the title....the reason i havent written lately is because i went on holiday....to the sunny west country....Somerset in fact....very relaxing holiday with alot of things that i wish i had my laptop with me to write about but i will try to think of some of the more interesting and amusing things over the next few days to keep you occupied for....well maybe 10 minutes of your life that you will never get back muhahahahahahaah......

So the first thing i want to tell you about is....Well how can i put this politly....ummm.....The devil most certainly did not go to Georgia.....Infact he went to a little place called Burnham-on-Sea in somerset....and was reincarnated as a She-Beast......Shes about 6ft 2ins tall has bright red curly hair and walks with a kind of limp that makes you think.....is that cos shes not used to wearing shoes on her tiny little hooven feet.....she gave me one stare and i swear to you all now...a little wee came out....

Now staying by the seaside of corse you are going to encounter seagulls.....now i dont know if they have these in America (for you people who come from over there)......but these ones that were where i was staying were more like mini aeroplanes that swoop down and pretty much try to take your head off......now we had this one seagull who would stand on your caravan every morning.....(waiting for me to some out to attack i bet)....kinda scared me until i saw that he only had one foot......he wasnt missing a hwole leg...oh no no nooo....just a foot.....but he still stood as if he had 2?......now i was wondering does he ever forget he only has one then when he leans to that side does he fall over??......i tried to get him too for the whole holiday but never managed too....dissappointing.....

Right finally i want to talk about something that i have written about before.....Roadkill....you can read the other entry here if you havent before.....whilst on holiday driving around seeing this animal suicide wall of fame.....i thought i should probably start a tick chart to see if i could see every type of animal with tyre marks over them....so heres my list soo far....Badger, Squirrel, Fox, Rabbit, Magpie, Crow, Frog, Kestrel, Pidgeon, Deer......so my question to all of you is what animals have you seen flattened???.....

******* ON A SIDE NOTE *******

To be honest im relly struggling to find any enjoyment or drive to continue writting on this blog.....i havent had the amount of interest i thought i could have got....mostly down to my own fault...and not knowing how to put my blog out in the wider world....and its probably because....well my blog isnt the best read around nor is it probably in the top 1 million....so im afraid to say that im probably not going to write for much longer on here or at all....im sure i wont really be missed....if anyone wants to give me any tips or try to motivate me again then be my guest....if not then ill probably stop by the end of this week.....its been nice knowing the few of you who read me.....all the best

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Gym Bunnies, Grasses and 'Uh-Oh Summers On Its way...'

What the hells going on?!? 2 posts in 2 days ahhhhhhhh........

Sooooo after many years of not really caring what i look like or to be more honest being lazy i finally joined a gym (some would say i like torture...).....Now im not the thinnest person nor the most fit....but looking around the gym you cant help but fell like you fit in.....for instance the day i joined i walked in...half expecting to see uber-fit-muscle men or women pumping 'iron'....Oh no no nooooooo...not this gym.....in this gym there are lots of weird creatures (or people) that have crawled out of somewhere......theres this one guy who if youve seen the peperami advert with the little peperami man you will know what im talkin about....hes stick thin and the same shape from his feet to the top of his head.....theres another lady who must be atleast 80....walks in with 2 walking sticks then gets on the bike and goes at a pace...that any slower she would go back in time.......im not having a go cos they all are trying their hardest to do what they gotta do...one thing tho.....they could atleast wipe their granny-peperami sweat from the machines before i have to sit on them...i leave the gym smelling like a old meat handler......

Blahhhhhhh....one thing i hate in this world (there are probably more than one thing)...is people who tell on people...grasses....snitches.....DICKHEADS! (please excuse my language this has really got my back up)...... so i was having a good day at work learning, well CPR today woooop, when i get a phone call from the people who own our block of flats.....they say they have recieved a complaint about our wheelie bin....(our wheelie bin recently had the lid ripped off by a heavy handed binman)....now this lady went on to tell me that the complaint was that our bin was overflowing and rubbish was going into peoples gardens (A total lie as i had picked up all the rubbish on my way out in the morning)....they carried on sayin they had also recieved a complaint about people not returning their bins to the back of the flat after they have been emptied......so not only did i have to go to work...but when i got home i had to find any spare wood i had and make a makeshift lid for the bin or face the possibility of a fine........FUCK FUCKETY FUCK FUCK.................oh and if you was wondering who made the complaint....ill give you one guess.....the only guy who takes his bin back in after they have been emptied.......God damn...Mother-whating JIMMYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!......Obv the trip through the shed didnt kill him gahhhh maybe next time (joking of corse).......

so i realise this post is rather long so ill keep this one short........What is it about the sun coming out that makes people want to wear the minimal of clothing??......now im not sayin girls with good to semi-good bodies, pretty girls, heck even guys who look after themselves cant do this....noooo far from it.....im talking about the ladies with lumps and bumps all over themselves, people with back fat, beer bellies, hairy backs etccc.....letting it all hang loose.....it seems like im having a go but im not...these people are lovely in their own right and have the right to show off if they choose.....but please......DONT RUIN MY EYESIGHT WITH YOUR HIDEOUSNESS THAT YOU ACTUALLY THINK LOOKS GOOD.....BUY A MIRROR HELL BUY 2 INCASE THE FIRST ONE BREAKS AFTER LOOKING AT YOUR QUASIMODO/CHEWBACCA LOVECHILD BEING IN.........


Soooooo maybe you can tell today has put me in a bad mood......well we cant all have good days everyday or else we will die im sure of it.......laters gators

SHAAAAAAAAA-TINGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS BANG TIDY PIC OF THE DAY......

Did Anyone Miss Me.........

WHOAAAAAAAAA.....Just seen that i hadnt written a post since february?!? wtf?!?!
well i know why.....and im not gunna bore you all with the details of whats been going on with me in my life.....but lets say its been pretty EPIC!.....(on a side note if anyone does want to know then that will take up a whole new post which ill add next time....but u gotta ask first lol)

Anyways i am back....for good i hope....well until something else happens haha....

Sooo wat funny things have i seen i hear you ask.....well lets see......

Right last week i was on my way to work and happened to hit some traffic.....now it was a lovely sunny day lots of people about...riding bikes etc....i stopped at the traffic lights next to this grassy area that leads on to the local park (i guess i dont know really)....and just as i thought my day was going to be a bad one.....this man came riding over the grass holding what looked like a scotch egg (if your not from over here you may not kno what this is.....its a snack sent from the heavens :P).......so anyway this man came riding past holding his heaven snackage....funny huh? ok thats not the end of the story....i found myself staring at him just as he hit, what can onli be described as an invisible trip wire....which sent him headfirst over hishandle bars and crashing to the ground......(what about the god touch edible magicness he was holding i hear you ask)....well dont worry he managed to keep hold of it...stand up and walk away pushing his bike..............EPIC FAIL!!!

Ummm...oh yeh you know jimmy?.....yeh u do...Jimmy....the guy who lives downstairs from me....no?....well you obv hasvent read my previous posts.....well anyways he has be doing some general gardening on his little patch at the back of our flats....well yesterday he was out their banging and crashing around...i wasnt taking any notice until i heard this almighty crash....followed by ' Oh My Goddddd Jimmmyyyyyyy...Are You Ok?.....' So i ran onto the balcony to see what had happened....and somehow he had tripped over and gone head first though his brand new shed.....well needless to say i was nearly on the floor laughing haha......Poor Jimmy

Soo anyways thats all i can think of right now....hopefully some of you have enjoyed reading my pointless post once more and maybe even missed me a little bit :P.......

Will write more in the next few days
Laters Haters.....

KIND OF LIKE THE MAN IN MY STORY PIC OF THE DAY.....

E is for Eyegasm..............

OK guys sorry im a bit late with my entry for this weeks ABC Wednwsday having a lazzy week so to speak haha but hopefully my entry will make you all laugh.......

E IS FOR EYEGASM..............

Eyegasm - When you see something so awesome it feels like your eyes are having an orgasm!!

Anyone ever had this happen to them?............

If youve read the rest of my blog you know i like to see things funny or weird......and when i see these things, i kno i have to write about them when i have an Eyegasm!...... OK its not the best way to live your life but it sure helps haha

The best eyegasm ive ever had?........when i saw this man running for a bus, only for the door to close and him run smack into the side of it and fall over....whilst the bus driver casually pulled away and drove off haha............

All This For ABC WEDNESDAY GOT THERE NOW CHECK IT OUT!!