Weird Phobias, The Pointless Things in life and 'WTF? Was That?'........

Ahhh the beginning of a new week, Hope we all had a good Weekend :D.....

Right now im fairly sure most people have a phobia or are scared of something in life, may it being heights, death, spiders or scared of being alone. These are the common ones, but thats not what im about.....I have found out that there are some really funny and damn right strange things people are afraid of.....the first one is Melophobia - The Fear of Music???....how on earth can someone have a phobia of something that is all around us in commercials, radio tv everything......Another is Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Which irronically is the fear of Long Words???.....you can just imagaine someone sitting there going 'oh im scared of long words, i kno im going to look up what that is called OH MY GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOO'....ok the last one ill give u and it just made me laugh because of how stupid it is but its...Arachibutyrophobia - or the fear of getting peanut butter stuck in the roof of your mouth????.....Who comes up with this? THEY ARE JUST TRYIN TO MAKE UP NEW WORDS NOW!!!!

I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine, over a drink (or 10) and we got into a conversation about the most pointless things in life, now take into account we were both very drunk at this point, i dont think we came up with that bad of a list here are some of the things we came up with......
1. Stickers on novelty shampoo/bath soap that says this is not food??
2. the amazon kindle - over £100 for what is essentially a book!!!
3. Vegetarian products that are made to resemble meat e.g vegetarian bacon - just eat normal goddamn bacon if u want it....
4. Banana Guard (the thing to put your bananas in to keep them fresh)
5. Rushing when you are late for something - your already late why hurry

Right now the last thing i want to talk about today is, well has anyone subconsciously thought that there is something or someone following you or watching you, and every noise you hear makes u go 'OMG WHAT WAS THATTTT?'.
Well i had one of these moments yesterday i was walking home after a fairly heavy drinking session, and i came to a fork in the roads, now normally i would go right and take the road with the streetlights, but for some reason this time i decided to go through the dark wooded area, WRONG CHOICE!! I swear someone was following me..i kept hearing footsteps, whispering and movement...really scared me.......just as whatever it was was closing in and i thought my life was over.........i woke up and realised i had fallen asleep in the pub haha.....plus i dont even live near any woods... Crazyyy AY??............

CAN-YOU-SAY-SMILE-PIC-OF-THE-DAY.........

Sunday Morning Wakeup call, Narcoleptic Animals and The Chinese Violinist....

SUNDAY SHOUTOUT (every sunday im going to plug the blog that i have enjoyed readin for the week) This week its for a lovely blog by KLO truely is one of the best reads around so go check it out: The Philosophy of Klo

Well lets just say sunday should be a day for rest, a day to lay in and enjoy your bed, to relax before the week ahead....youd think so right?....well if only someone ould tell the crazy lady downstairs this!!!!
5am this morning she starts with the hoovering (if people dont know who im on about read previous post titled 'men in lycra, the lady downstairs and 'you cant talk about that') shes obviously on one of her mental turns, because before i could get back to sleep she starts singing the spice girls at the top of her voice, 6am comes and shes banging on the door and pressing the buzzer cos shes locked out again......is it acceptable to bring back public hanging????

I recently came accross a new video on youtube that i thought was both hilarious (harsh maybe) but also quite sad. Its about a dog that has narcolepsy poor little guy. so everytime he gets excited he falls asleep :(.....now i was thinking if i had this id be constantly asleep haha..... NARCOLEPSY HAS GOT TO BE THE WORST SUPERPOWER EVERRRRR........STOP! IM NARCOLEPSY DOZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.......
Anyway heres the video check it out....

Last thing i wanna write about today is the increase in people on the streets, in the shopping centres, wherever, playing music for money. Now im all for it if they need a way to make money or to be honest, if they are half decent at what they are doing.......but for one guy he should just give up now.........yes im talking about the Chionese Violinist of Woking!! Ok now first thing that shocked me was that hes probably mid to late 40's so he reli should have a proper job.............secondly if thats what your going to do.....LEARN TO PLAY THE GODDAM THING!!! I dont wanna go shopping, then have my ears left permanently ringing for your lack of violin skills, take up something easier if its a problem....like maybe SHUT THE F@"* UP MANNNNNNNNN...............

I PUT A PIC ON MY BLOG SUMTIMES SAYING AYYYYOOOOO ITS A PHOTOOOOO......

Public Over-Affection, Shoes but No Socks and 'Whats That Smell'.........

HAPPY WEEKEND EVERYBODY......

The first on my To-Moan-About List today is people who think its acceptable to be over affectionate in public. Now im not talkin about people hugging or holding hand or even having a little kiss, Not at all, im talking about the people who look like they are eating each others faces. This is something that should be kept in private, WE DO NOT WANT TO SEE IT IN THE MIDDLE OF A SHOPPING CENTRE!!!!!

This is a refference back to my post yesterday (about the little old confused man) who was wearing shoes but not any socks. Now over the past month ive begun to see more and more men wearing shoes without any socks, is it just me that find this uber weird?? not only would i think it be uncomfortable, but my god their feet must stink!!!!!

Now this part is probably the weirdest, most disguting thing ive ever written about. Righ the story is i was on the train, was just a normaly boring journey, when suddenly this smell wafted down the carriage. However this smell was the smell to choke all smells haha it smelt like something had died, been left to rot then eaten by an animal and shat back out. I couldnt quite figure out where it was coming from. Then this old man walked past where i was sitting, the smell seemed to follow him and as he past i turned round to look, only too see that he had litterally pooped himself on the train!!! bleughhhhhh that ruined my journey........

WHAT-YOU-LAUGHING-AT? OH-ITS-THE-PIC-OF-THE-DAY........

Sexual Innuendo, The old man and 'If i wanted to look at that, id have gone to the Zoo'......

Hello all.....Hope we are all having a good day....one thing.....ITS FRIDAYYYYYYY!!!

Right the first thing i wanna talk about today, and i dont know if im the only one who finds this, But i was in the Supermarket earlier, and i couldnt beleive how many things you see, have some sort of sexual innuendo's attatched to them.
For example i was in the fruit and veg aisle, id just walked past the cucumbers (long) and Apples (firm) and just then i heard an old woman say 'i love melons'.....i thought the same ;).
I carried on shopping and then came to, what probably was either the funniest or most disgusting thing ive heard in a while, there were a couple of ladies by the fridge where the cream is , and i kid you not, one said to the other, 'i love the squirty cream, its best when squirted straight in your mouth'.....hmmmmmm......

Now, some of you might have figured out that i like to watch people, that i find interesting. Well also on this shopping trip i noticed this little old man who was, obviously sent by his wife to get some shopping (i could tell this cos he had a perfectly written shopping list and the look on his face, you could tell he didnt know what he was doing). This man caught my attention because he stood staring blankly at a sign that said 'buy on get 2 free' now to normal people this was easy to understand. But not to him he stood there for a good 10 mins, me watching nearby, before muttering to himself 'but i only want one, now i have to buy 3'!!! bless his cotton socks, we thats if he wore socks!!! That i dont get, but i wont start on that ill leave that for tomorrow!

Before my shopping trip i thought id sit and have a nice coffee, in the supermarket cafe. So i got my coffee, put my headphones in and sat down with the paper for a quiet 10mins before i started.
Nearing the end of my coffee i felt someone tap me on the shoulder, i turned round and this angry looking old man (not the same one as before) was standing there.
Apparantly my music was too loud for him and he continued to tell me 'If i wanted to listen to music that loud id have gone to a rock concert!!'.......i was listening to Bruno Mars, but he looked angry so i thought id better not say 'actually its not rock music' otherwise he might hit me.......so instead, and for no apparant reason, im still tryin to figure out why i said it, but this is what came out of my mouth......'Well if i wanted to see that resembles a gorilla eating a squirrel, then i would have gone to the zoo today'.....Obviously offended and even more angry he wandered off muttering something un-postable haha.

LAUGH TILL YOU PEE PIC OF THE DAY...........

Birds at night?, Stupid People and Annoying Jimmy..........

Ok heres something that has been bugging me for a while, yet i dnt quite know why its happening......When i try to go to sleep at night, theres always this noise that keeps me awake....BIRDS SINGING!!!
Now im not an expert but im pretty sure birds shouldnt be singing at like 1am??? GO TO BED BIRDY'S!!! I like the sound of bird song on a sunny day, but this is annoying, i am this close *makes reli short length with fingers* to going out and finding these birds to shut them up!!

I was thinking back to when i used to work in a supermarket, about some of the more funny times that stuck in the memory, and in a way made working there more bearable (even if it was just for 10 mins) so heres a few things that happened that i just couldnt quite believe wen i heard them:

1. i was on the customer service desk when this man came in, he looked normal, but i tell you, he was far from it lol. He had brought a jar of marmite (for those who dont know what it is, its a yeast extract that us brits put in sandwiches, on toast etc, and its dark brown in colour) well he claimed that it wasnt the right colour and that it must be off! a 15 minute conversation occured, and in it he claimed that it was too brown, now i dont kno what he was expecting me to do but oh well.

2. they now have these machine in our supermarkets that allow the customer to scan their own shopping. However because some items are age restricted e.g. alcohol when they try to scan these a prompt comes up for the attendent to approve. now i was working on these machines when a man scanned some beer, *swift propt occurs* and he says 'for gods sake why is it asking for apporval' i politly explain thats its because you have to be over 18 to purchase alcohol, angrily and rude he says 'well its clear i am', as if to say the machine should know that he is over 18??? tryin to bite my tongue i calmly reminded him that machines cnt tell the age of people. Well lets just say he wanted to speak to my manager so as 'the customer is always right' the manager was called. ahhh how i dont miss that job haha.

Right finally for today, i need to get something off my chest, now yesterday i talked about the lady downstairs, but today i need to talk about the man who lives on the bottom floor.
Lets call him Jimmy, cos well, his name is Jimmy. Now Jimmy is the kind of nosey, and 'busy body' person whos always doing something, whether it be looking after the communial garden or shouting 'jay-jay' every hour of the day, (jay-jay being his dog) hes just always there, but heaven forbid you park in his parking space!!
Now we have a private car park but noone has their own space, but he always parks in the same one, i made th emistake of parking where he does once, and what he did both shocked and made me laugh haha.
He actually waited outside the next day for me to move my car and then he went and got in his van and moved to the space. So recently ive been tryin to park in his space, and when i do get in it, i casually walk out to my car a few times get in it.......then get bk out again!!! IN YOUR FACE JIMMY!!!!

OK today was probably the worst and most pointless post of mine but well.....its early and im tired so there *pokes tongue out*

DA...DA...DA...DAAAAAAAA.....HAPPINESS PIC OF THE DAYYYYYYYY......

Men in Lycra, The Lady Downstairs and 'You cant talk about that'..........

Right first things first, not alot of things put 'the fear' into me besides the sea (dont ask) and flying bugs (read previous posts) but one thing really starts to get my heart racing and really brings terror to me, and that is.......MEN IN LYCRA!!!.... You know these men who wear lycra cycling shorts or jogging shorts, i mean come on guys, that outfir leaves nothing to the imagination you can actually see your.......i wont go into detail but i reli think this sort of thing needs to be banned!!!

ok im probably not alone here, and im sure many of you know (or are related to :P) someone who is a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Well the person who im reffering to lives in the flat below mine, and well lets just say she is NUCKIN' FUTS!!!!.....She constantly gets locked out of the flats in her pyjamas, plays music all hours of the night, hoovers at like 5am and basically looks like she needs sectioning haha but hey i for one will not be tellin her shes mental........

Now this part may shock a few people or annoy people and its reli not intended to do that, you see, sometimes when im speaking to my friends or whatever, i sometimes say stuff that offends people. Now i am not a racist, im not sexist and i am not homophobic, but i sometimes say things that people who dont know me, or dont listen to the whole conversation might get the idea that i am all of those things. Overall i think the world nowadays is a little bit touchy on all those subjects i mean people tend to play on the fact that you cant say anything these days.....if we all would just relax a little bit and just get on with it the world would be a better place......nothing somes it up more than this song.....


LAUGH-A-LITTLE-IT-JUST-MIGHT-HELP PIC OF THE DAYYYY......

Swine Flu, Rubbish Tattoos and The Bearded Lady of Kingston........

Welcome everyone.....

The first thing i have to have a little moan about today is the panic that, Newspapers and News crews have put in people over the recent rise in Swine flu cases. Yes its a deadly disease if contracted so im not going to laugh at people who have it (or claim to have it :s) all im saying is that does the scare-mongering tactics of the press actually help??
i mean swine flu? im yet to see someone *oink* and *sneeze* at the same time, And if i did you can be sure i would run a mile from them!!!

I waited years before i finally found the right tattoo for me, so you have to question some people when you see stupid tattoos that have no meaning or relevancy to that person. On the other hands you could go into a tattoo parlour with a clear idea in your head, and it be the artist, not you who messes your body up. take a look at this guy.....

Now that would really ruin your day.......

Right now onto the final part of this post id just like to make a shout out to a woman who is a legend in her own right, who has a massive following and who also has her own fan page on facebook....thats right....its the bearded lady from kingston (noone knows her name thats just how she is known), shes is the sweetest, friendliest lady ever but people who talk to her cant help to stare, but she doesnt care!
so all im asking is has it become social acceptable for women to be au-natural? or do some people just stick 2 fingers up to the world and say this is me, DEAL WITH IT?.....

HAPPINESS PIC OF THE DAY DOT COM......

Crazy Squirrels, Bad Haircuts and English Stereotypes......

ok sooo after yesterday and saying how i seem to Attract moths, today i realised that squirrels are also drawn to me!
I dont know why, maybe im a real-life Dr Dolittle however i was walking through the park and a squirrel ran out from a bush and just stopped dead infront of me and started staring! (im pretty sure i even saw a smirk on its little rodent face!) Question is, Has anyone ever befriended a squirrel or did it just feel too wrong to even try??

One thing that i have noticed whilst being out and about is the shere amount of people getting weird and damn right stupid haircuts. for example i saw a group of girls, all dressed nice looking pretty but then i saw that one had half her hair shaved off, one had it dyed platinum blonde, one had like purple and red bits in it!!! I guess im just not up to fashion these days, but whats wrong with keeping your hair looking normal??

haha ok to finish this post off i have to have a little ramble about stereotypes. I have a friend who lives in america and whilst we were talking i asked, how do people in england come accross over there?. Well lets just say that my reaction to her response went a little like this.........*deep breath*............NO! We are not all fish and chip eating, earl grey tea drinking, red phone box calling, mini cooper driving, james bond watching, harry potter reading, the beatles listening, queen loving, bowler hat wearing, 'good day to you sir' saying, manchester united supporting, english softies!!!! :P

EPIC SMILE PIC OF THE DAYYYYYYYY......

Kamikaze Moths, Roadkill and The Man With no Shoes.......

sooooooo......its sunday the last day to rest before the long week ahead, for some of you work, for some of you who knows ;) well heres a few things that might make the week ahead bearable (well for 10mins atleast hehe)....

i dont know if this is just me, ok it probably is just me,but i have a phobia of all things that fly, flying bugs, birds everything. However i seem to attract a new kind of moth. KAMIKAZE MOTHS!!! ones that no matter where u are in the room they fly directly at you, you could be in the biggest room possible and it would still go straight for your UR head. GO AWAY MOTH I DO NOT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND!!!!

Another thing i noticed today whilst driving was the shere amount of roadkill that litters our roads, foxes, squirrells, birds, i even saw a badger that looked more like a bear!! i find myself asking 'do animals have suicidal qualities?'

Right the last thing im going to ramble on about is, i saw this man walking down the street, he had nice clothes on (not designer, but not from a bin) however he was missing one vital thing.....his Shoes??
now hes either had them stolen (all you shoe theifs should be ashamed of yourselves) orrr hes a bit mad and just forgot......im going with the latter!!

HAPPY, SMILEY, LAUGHTER MAKING PIC OF THE DAY....

so thats the end of day 2 subsribe to my blog for upcoming weird happenings in my tiny world! PEACE!!

A Little Bit Of Happiness.....

Ive decided that, what with all the doom and gloom in the world today, its time for something to make us all smile.

So im making a stand, Everytime i post on this blog, i will add a picture that cannot fail but make you smile, thus spreading a little bit of happiness from me to you........:D

so heres one for today.....

Saturday - The day for football, ebay and ermmm shopping!

Sooooooooo........today got off to a good start with me staying in bed until 1pm!!!! omg! well it is the weekend after all haha.

sooo after a well deserved lunch *ahem* of a steak and ale pasty yummmm, decided it was best to go do some food shoppping as most, if not all of the cupboards are bare :(
asda or tesco??? thats the hardest decision i had to make today, decided it be best to go to asda as can get more for your money lol.
walking round asda you get a sense that you might just be the only normall person in there, a woman with a double pushchair and 2 kids holding on to it, push past as soon as you get in there! HOW RUDE!!!!
and then a man (who was clearly not on a diet) adding packs and packs of chocolate to his trolley, but hey who am i to judge haha.

A few more disasterous site followed, and as i left the shop i was glad that i made it out without getting and diseases haha.
The only other thing on my mind was how Fulham were doing against Stoke city today...........Found out as i got home that they had won 2-0 so that was a good thing.

On top of that i checked my ebay account to find the items i am selling has gone up to £93 with still 3 days to go on it so hopefully theres a little bit of money coming my way. Searched through ebay typing in random words and you do have to questions some people mentality with what they will actualy try to sell.
for example, someone has a pair of socks on there under the title 'Justin Biebers Socks' now that is weird in its own right but reading through the description not only are they second hand socks, but they are from a guy who lives in England, called Justin Bieber!!!!!! not the tiny, squeeky voice teen singer but sum random guy whos jumping on the bandwagon. What was more shocking is that they already had 2 bids on them and were up to £3 haha some people!!

well thats day one of my blog here hope some of that was worth reading ummm yeh check back for more in the coming days!